Time to "cowboy up"

Ok, its time for me to get on the stick and quit sitting around sabotaging myself. I really need to get past these 3 weights that I bounce around with. Everyday I weight 239, 241, or 242. WTF... I want to move down and be more consistent. I know my fill is good, I can feel it working. I have really been feeling over-whelmed and stressed alot. I think it is just the summer and so much going on. This feelings always leave me eating and by eating I mean eating the wrong stuff. I do so good all day and then in the evening I have been deciding that I "deserve" something. Well what the hell I deserve is to have a healthy, functioning body. I deserve some nice new clothes from a regular store. Am I scared?? I could be. I don't remember buying clothes from a regular store, I don't remember not having this fat shielding me from life. I have always had it. Sometimes it scares me??? What will I do, who will I be if I am not "overweight Lillie". What excuse for not participating in life will I have? Crap maybe I need some advice!!!