Finally adding some pics!!!

We took a picture of me the day of surgery. All of this time it has been on my old phone, i didn't get the picture off my old phone before I changed to the iphone. Finally today I set down and took a few minutes to get that picture off. I really wanted it to be part of this blog so I can't see my progress. Here it is. Also adding a picture that was before the surgery back in Sept.

I THINK THIS IS THE SWEET SPOT???

I think this feeling I have when I eat too much is called "full". Wow!!! it's like the lights came on. Yesterday I ate a bit more than I should have and boy did it freaking hurt!!! So here is the deal folks when you start feeling full you stop eating. What?? Yes, I am serious you can just stop eating. Now that is new.......

Here are the rules for fullness---
1. you don't have to wait till your about to throw up to stop
2. it is ok to throw food away
3. it is ok to not stack your plate sky high
4. you are allowed to taste something and not finish it
5. if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it (really!!)
6. just because they serve you the salad you don't have to eat it

I am learing these new fullness rules. I have never applied them before, however, there is no reason why I can't learn them and use them now. I just need to practice, practice. I hope everyone has a great weekend, remember to listen to your band.....

FEELING BLAH!!!

I feel so blah and like I just can't lose this weight fast enough. I feel like I have done really well and then something happens that brings me down to reality that I am still so large. So you ask, "what in the world could make you feel like that" How bout trying on clothes. I have realized that i have huge issues when I go shopping, it really brings me down. I guess its just a slap in the face at what size I still am. I try to remember the important thing....what size I WAS and what size i WILL BE when this is all done. I don't know I thinkI just had one of those times when my expectations were really high and it didn't work out. The thing is to just keep on keeping on and living right, eating right and taking excellent care of myself. Love to all!!!

I NEEDED A WEEKEND

Even though this was a short week, boy am I tired. I have so much to do this weekend, several Eastern Star events to attend. I had some dissapointed today, I had some dresses that I planned on wearing (I made this decision a month ago) of course being the sicko I am I picked out dresses that were too small and thought "by then" they would fit me. I know better than to do this, I know that these expectations only lead to disaster. So i really began to feel like crud about myself. Like even with the band i still have issues. I just need to find some good things about myself and quit finding the negative. I am loosing this weight, I am moving forward. It just takes time. It's hard, the band makes it better, but it is still hard!!!! Well time to move on and get past it, find something different to wear and have a nice weekend.

Wow, its been awhile since I have posted. We were gone on Vacation last week, what a great time we had in New Orleans. I managed to stay on a pretty good eating plan while there. I had taste of the things I like the best and tried to get in all my protein. I think it helped that I had a fill right before we went. One morning while we were on our way to a Swamp Tour I think I was eating to fast in the car. I had a very bad episode. I now know what is meant by "sliming" yuk yuk. It was certainly no fun and my stomach was sore the rest of the day. I took it easy for the next day and only ate soft things. Well glad to be back home!!!

What is Normal??

I was thinking about that question this morning when I got on the scale. Down 2 pounds, that is good and I am happy. I was wondering when I would be at a "normal" size. I am not sure why we say that we want to be normal, really I think we just want to appear normal. I want everyone else to look at me and not think "oh she is fat" I want them to think "oh she is normal". I don't even know what normal is?? So maybe I don't want to be normal, I just don't want FAT to be the first thing people see and think. Some days the eating is still hard. People don't understand that the band doesn't keep you from wanting to act on your emotional response which for me would be eating. I just need to keep moving forward and finding happiness in what size I am now and looking in the mirror and learning to love what is there.

Getting Seconds

Hopefully today I will be getting my second fill. I must admit that I have not posted much. I think I have been pretty dissapointed in myself. I feel like I should be doing better. I hope the second fill will help me some. It's so hard to be patient and let the weight come off slow. In the past I have always over-done the diet, if you know what I mean. Lost weight really quickly, problem is guess what happens??? Yep, it all comes back plus some. I know this is the reason to take it easy and let it come off slow. Relax Lillie, let the band be your tool and take it easy. Learn the good habits that will last a lifetime. Find somethings to be grateful for, they are there.